


Birds and Bees

by Savageandwise



Series: You Know We Can't Go Back [7]
Category: Music RPF, Oasis (Band), Real Person Fiction
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Gallaghercest | Liam Gallagher/Noel Gallagher Incest, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:27:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29987706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savageandwise/pseuds/Savageandwise
Summary: "I did a pregnancy test. "
Relationships: Liam Gallagher/Noel Gallagher
Series: You Know We Can't Go Back [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895191
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Birds and Bees

"So I did a pregnancy test," Liam said, taking a swig of water.

"You what?" Noel asked.

Liam set the bottle down and shrugged. "I did one of them pregnancy tests."

Noel ran his hand over his fade, pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Why?"

"Why else?"

"But you're...you're...you're a…" He couldn't even finish the sentence. 

"...a what? A right handsome cunt? A talented individual?"

"A man," Noel finished weakly. 

"Yes, I am," Liam agreed.

"Men don't...don't...don't...I know you know this, Liam...standard stuff, this. Men don't get…"

"How do you know?"

Noel stared at him in shock. "How do I…?"

"Yeah, how do you know? You never even finished school." Liam folded his arms over his chest.

"Well, you got four GCSEs and all. So you should know, women have the babies. We just…"

"Just what? Tell me all about it."

He wasn't sure if Liam was joking or not. "When a man and a woman...fuck's sake, Liam…"

Liam was grinning from ear to ear. "The first time you told me how it worked was priceless. You were beet red and couldn't stop stuttering."

"It was Paul told you."

"It was you," Liam insisted. 

"So you were bored last night and decided to give it a go. See if you were up the pole." 

"That's right. Just to be sure. I'm all for using condoms, you know...no glove no love…" 

"Sure you are…"

"But my fella never does," Liam continued blithely.

"Your fella, eh?" 

"Yeah. Narky bollocks. Heavy eyebrows. Plays guitar."

"Sounds like a cunt. You ought to kick him to the curb. Find yourself a decent man," Noel said dryly.

"Easier said than done," Liam said sadly, shaking his head.

"What was the result?"

"Result of what?" Liam asked. He plucked a cigarette out of the packet sighed and then put it back.

"The test you moron."

"Oh...well...it's a stick, right? You pee on it, right? I'm on the bog trying to aim the stream at the tiny stick. But getting it everywhere...and then I drop it, right? So I had to buy another one. And this time I'm sitting aiming me willy downward, like. Whilst clutching at the stick so I don't drop it again because I'm not sure I have any piss left in me after this."

"Fucking hell, Liam!" Noel exclaimed. "Just tell me the result not the fucking play-by-play!"

Liam raised his brows and smirked. "Why, Noel. A clever lad like you, I thought you knew men can't get pregnant?"


End file.
